Monthly Archives: October 2012

Silent moments with myself…

Since childhood, I never used to take afternoon naps. I know a lot of people, who prefer taking rest in the afternoon, especially on weekends. All my family members did too and I would just sit near a window, with a book in my hand.

Silent afternoons are time for me to think and spend quality time with myself.

In today’s world, everything is fast – fast foods, fast trains, fast internet, faster technology! We are all running behind something through out the day. Sometimes it’s even difficult to realize how weeks come and go. People now spend less quality time with their families and more with their chores or electronic gadgets.

I was reading an article that said: “Spend your weekends the way people used to spend their time in 1920’s ——– Stay away from technology, read a book, go for a walk, pamper yourself, listen to music, go to the library etc. However, today, it’s unimaginable for people to stay away from the internet for too long.

When I spend silent moments with myself, I think of what has happened, what is happening and what I plan to do. I revisit my plans, big and small, and try to see where I stand. (Small plans like buying nick nacks for the house, organizing the house, watering the plants and so on…. big plans like achieving a career goal, following my dreams, helping my family with their goals….

Silent moments make you realize that you are alive. They make you feel present in the moment.

Silent moments can sometimes make you feel lonely, but they also provide an opportunity to be your own companion.

These moments are precious since they may not last long, considering the fact that life will drag you again — into its unending idiosyncrasies, and you won’t have an option but to surrender.

Once you get comfortable with silence, you build a very good relationship with yourself. You become aware of your self conscience. You learn to accept yourself. Your goals become more clear and you are more aligned with your own self.

You believe in yourself. You analyze and comprehend things better.

I read that, listening to the same songs over and over again and memorizing them channelizes your mind. In the same way, silent moments channelize our energies — they help us deal with stress and noise in life.

When did you last spend silent moments with yourself and enjoyed them? What did you achieve from those moments?

Find a balance among the noise and the silence that life offers…. It’s crucial for the well being of our mind and our spirit….! and ….Then you will feel, that silent moments with yourself …are not as silent as you thought!

Growing old and Growing up.

Okay… so I don’t like growing up. It’s a fact. Well… tell me one person who likes it anyways … 😛 🙂

Show me a person who says, “Growing old makes me very happy!”

Growing old is not in our control but ‘growing up’ is. I really like parents who spend a lot of time with their kids. I saw a picture of a lady who dressed up on halloween along with her daughter so that both of them could have fun. Shall we say that the mom has not grown up? She is acting too young for her age? Can we not appreciate the fact that she has given up all inhibitions, just to keep her daughter happy?

Of course, other people might laugh at her but those people might laugh at her grown up acts too!

Have you ever wondered why children learn things so quickly? A kid imitates others and can even pick up different languages very quickly. The same kid after turning into an adult may have difficulty learning a new language.

In order to learn, you need to have the heart of a child and the brain of an adult. A heart that is open to learning new things, a heart that is ready to experiment, explore…break things, make things and not get disappointed or disheartened.
At the same time, you need to have a brain of an adult to interpret things, process them and save some in your memory.

Kids tend to forget things easily. We do not remember everything from our childhood. However, as adults, we can retain and process information.

Albert Einstein said : “Never memorize something that you can look up!”

Now imagine, if you could explore life and take note of every good thing you came across – a unique flower, a different kind of bird, a new language, an artistic creation, a beautiful poem, a difficult word, a new place, some beautiful clouds, a beautiful rainbow, unique architecture, beautiful handicrafts….. and so on… and if you could save those little memories somewhere…in a book, a diary, a journal or in your mind…. Wouldn’t you be proud of your collection? Proud of what all you have learned and discovered? It’s not that hard… if you find time to do it…!

In order to be open to discovery, you have to be willing to learn like a child. Life is very large and you can never grow up to be larger than life! You will always remain a small little tiny winy particle on earth.

You will grow up…and will have to understand the complications of life — troubles, quarrels, ego issues, money matters, sorrows, stresses, weaknesses, career, politics, responsibilities…..but in your heart… remain a child who wants to learn…and explore….beyond these imperfections…

Join an MBA program or a painting class or a hobby… Do something that you like…something you’ll be proud of later in your life….

Growing up means you stop believing in fairies and miracles and the little joys of life.
I still do….so I don’t grow up! 🙂

Here’s a quote from Walt Disney…. “Why do we have to grow up? I know more adults who have the children’s approach to life. They’re people who don’t give a hang what the Joneses do. You see them at Disneyland every time you go there. They are not afraid to be delighted with simple pleasures, and they have a degree of contentment with what life has brought – sometimes it isn’t much either.” – Walt Disney”

Don’t Procrastinate….. Contemplate…

How many times have you thought of going to the gym but could not find the time?

How many times did you start reading a book but never finished it?

How many times did you think of learning a new language or following a new hobby but then got busy?

Don’t procrastinate…Contemplate.

Isn’t it strange that we delay some things in life, even though we know for sure, they are good for us. We want to do a task and we plan to do it but then it never happens.

In reality, whenever we procrastinate, there is a reason behind it. There is something stopping us from doing that work. If we dive deeper, we can realize and be sure of what it is. A lot of times its laziness, sometimes it’s fear and other times it’s ignorance.

When ever you make a plan and then do not execute it, think – Why wasn’t I able to complete the task?
Is it because ‘I am incapable of doing it?’ – Most of the times, the answer will be no.
Is it because I am lazy – A lot of times the answer may be Yes.
Is it because its not in my priority list? – This is a tough one!

Do not free yourself or jump to another task until and unless you convince yourself and get the answer to ‘Why you are delaying a task?’

You will be amazed to see, how many of your weaknesses come in front of u. You will be amazed of the opportunities you will discover to improve yourself and get more out of life and out of your plans.

Next time when you say, “Oh! I will get to it someday” or may be, “I’ll do it tomorrow”, think of a reason why you will do it tomorrow and not today?

Most of the time, we only complete the tasks that we are supposed to. But, Life is not a task. Life is an exploration, a discovery. The day we can do more tasks that we think we can, we will be actually exploring possibilities.

The day we can plan and execute our day better, we can help others execute their days better.

Don’t procrastinate – Contemplate.

Deal with Pain (asap)

Pain in any form (physical or mental) is not good for our body and our life. It is important to deal with pain as soon as possible, but before that, it is even more important to recognize the pain in our lives.

If some activities, things or people have given us pain, they are bound to give us pain again. There are no ifs and buts to it. However, a lot of us expect things to change and believe that we can live with pain. That’s an incorrect notion.

I have also realized that pain if not controlled, always grows bigger. At no point, does it get smaller.

For example, many people ignore small things about their health. When those issues turn into big pain areas, that’s when they actually take action. If we deal with a problem when it is small, we can stop it from getting big.

Our body is the center of ‘our universe’. We hurt ourselves many times by letting other things hurt us.

Pain can be physical or mental. If someone puts us down or makes us feel, we are not capable enough, we are pained. If someone does not understand us or makes fun of us, that is pain too.

There was a little girl. When she used to go to school, people would always make fun of her. They criticized her habits and her way of thinking. She never responded back. She kept the pain inside her. When she grew big, one of her friends told her that: “When people make fun of you or hurt you, tell them politely that you are being hurt. Tell them in front of others so that they realize their mistake. Deal with the problem before it gets bigger.” She started doing so and her pain was reduced.

How many pain areas of our life are we not dealing with yet? Are we scared to accept and express our emotions? Are we wounded but trying to hide it. Confront your weaknesses and the people who make you feel weak.

Focus on your health and well being. Deal with pain asap and do not let it grow any bigger. Take out time for your mental and physical health. Do not overburden yourself with other things that you forget your own self.

Feel it. Express it. Relieve it. But do not live with it.

Competition…!

Many times, I see people competing with each other. They want to show that they are better than the others. Some people even try to use cunning ways or tricks to prove that they are much better.

I read recently,”The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.”

Why do we need to be part of a rat race? We should be able to define our goals and our own race.

A person’s race should only be with himself. He should compare, what he is today to what he was yesterday.
It’s not rare that a person was happy yesterday and he is still happy today, in spite of unwanted circumstances in his life.

Here’s a story: Two colleagues A & B were always competing with one another. They tried to put each other down in meetings. They felt the other person was not capable enough. One day, A went to a third colleague C and said… “Don’t listen to B. He always competes”

C said, “I don’t understand how he can affect me?” C knew what he was doing. C’s goals were related to C’s life, not to A’s or B’s life 🙂

We always meet people who want to compete with us and prove themselves better. We can’t do much about it except smile.

When we start competing, we either win or lose.

In the worst case scenario, let’s say you compete and ‘lose’ a game/challenge/battle because of another person. Let’s say you even lose your job, your career, your friends because of another person….If you are capable… you can get your job and career back! It may not be as good as the old job but it’s an opportunity, a fresh start!

If you have true friends… they will be back!

What can someone possibly take away from you? Can he take away your intelligence, your power of judgement, your patience, your knowledge, your beliefs, your reason of existence?

“Anything that does not kill you makes you stronger.” – Life is full of opportunities. Life wants us to rise.

Compete, with yourself and your knowledge. Competing with others will not take you anywhere. It will only take away your time and fill negative thoughts in your mind.

I believe healthy competition is always with your own self. Any competition with others in unhealthy because that kind of competition runs in your mind. It becomes the focus of all your work. Your own goals take a backseat and the other person’s achievements take the front seat! 🙂

Learn from others, but don’t compete with them.

You win because you are better than what you were yesterday. You lose because you have scope for improvement. (Not because another person is better)

Live your life, your goals and your targets. Do not live someone else’s goals.

Compete with yourself, in your favorite areas and try to win…. everyday!

Life.. There’s always something left to do!

Whether it’s work, home, friends, family, children or any other aspect of your life, there is always something left to do! The house could have been cleaner, shopping could have been done last week, reading time could have been longer and work could have been more fulfilling.

There are things we could have done better and there are also things we could have done worse and it wouldn’t have mattered.

Our efforts have to directed in a way which makes most sense. Put in efforts where you are expecting maximum returns. Do not put in efforts where there are no returns.

How do we measure returns?  – Returns add value to our life. They help us grow intellectually or financially.

What is the point of investing time and efforts in an area that will not help us in any way? We may choose to do so, if we want to waste our time and efforts or maybe just for fun, but we have to understand that we will not get any returns. This also reduces the pressure and the expectation that ‘I have to get returns from this venture’.

We can only get good returns if we spend our time and energy wisely.

You can take hundreds of time management classes and seminars but the decision to take up a task or not, is very personal. The choices vary for every individual.

Something that makes sense to me, may not make sense to you at all.

We have 24 hours in a day and we only have three areas to focus on:

Home & Family
Work & Learning
Fun

Fun will not give returns but it is important to replenish our energies.

I am a perfectionist, so when I pick up a task, I really want to do it well. Sometimes, I do not move onto another task because of that first task at hand.

I read somewhere that after every hour of work, you need one minute of silence. I also read that if you work on something for half an hour and then try to shift your focus to another task and later come back to the first task, your mind gets to learn new things.

Train your mind so it can shift its focus on different things throughout the day. There will always be something left to do in every area but as long as all the areas are at par and none is neglected, a balance is maintained.

It is important to maintain balance in terms of people. Who holds most value for you and who does not? Are you spending your energies on a section of people who may not be there in your life the next week?
Are you giving maximum importance to your family?

People who help you grow intellectually or morally hold maximum value.
People, especially friends whom you meet for fun help you replenish your energies.
People who do not have any role in your life – and do not add any value to your life – should not add any worries or concerns to your life. Or rather, you should not be worried or concerned about them.

Filter your tasks and the people in your life, to make the most out of the resources at hand.

There is always something left to do and probably that’s the way life should be.

Common Good

Sometimes, I think there’s so much in common amongst people in all parts of the globe.

We all breathe, laugh, cry, sing, dance, wink, love, learn, earn, eat, blink, hope, wish, dream, talk, walk and the list goes on and on.

We all have families, friends or people who care for us. We all need support at different times in our life. We all succeed, we all fail.

We have different ways of doing things but the purpose is same. We express in different languages but the meaning is the same.

I saw a movie where a french guy falls in love with an Indian girl. They meet in an english speaking class. There are moments in the movie where the girl expresses her emotions in hindi and the guy speaks french. Yet they pretend to understand each other! It’s not practical but it’s a beautiful feeling!

I am a people person and do not hesitate talking to strangers. I think we can learn something new from everyone.When I look at a new person, I see him/her as a person and do not wonder, which country or state, he/she belongs to or what language he/she speaks or what he/she looks like.

When you judge people, do not judge them by the way they breathe, laugh, cry, sing, dance, wink, love…
In fact, do not judge them at all.

Judge yourself on a scale of humanity. That is the only valid scale in the world and the only thing, which makes other people feel happy that they are humans.

Judge how much good you are doing in this world. What will be left when you are gone. What will people remember you as.

Think of the common worldwide good – common worldwide success.

You’ve lost it! ;)

The moment you think… you’re not peaceful… or you’re not happy… the peace and happiness that exists within you is lost!

The moment you think you are less than others or do not have the ability to succeed… you’ve lost the power and motivation to succeed….

“Moment”… is a small droplet in the ocean of “Time” …. but isn’t this all we have?

A moment has the power to change your life! Your destiny! How can we underestimate the power of the moment??
While you think you are not capable of achieving your goals… you’ve already lost some precious moments…

While you’re busy thinking what others are doing, you’ve lost the moments in which you could have done something.

Each moment… Think that you are peaceful, happy and content.
You are living just for this moment…. as it will never come again…

Let me share a small story: I met a person in the office cafetaria one day. He was constantly tapping his feet and browsing on his phone while the cashier was collecting his credit card and swiping it on the machine. He seemed very restless and did not stand still. I did not know who he was. I was standing behind him and asked him, “You seem very busy and in a rush” He said…”I’m a very busy person. I have lots to do. I have to do something right now. I can not stand idle. I have to keep myself busy.”

I had a little smile on my face. I said…”Well… you could just stand and think.”

And then the cashier gave him his credit card and he left….(in a rush) 🙂

I think …he was trying to over-utilize his present moments… 🙂

Spend your moments wisely… and more importantly …peacefully… Be at peace…be content…be hopeful…for the next moment…
Plan for good… Plan for a better future.. a better moment…

I was driving back from work one day and while taking the exit, the car in front of me stopped suddenly..  I stopped too and then the car behind me stopped! It was scary for a moment…..but…it happens…The car in front of me had a sticker on it.. “Jesus listens” 🙂

These moments make you realize.. Life is too short…. Its just a collection of moments. Its a package. Its like an empty bag and it’s up to you, what you fill in that bag!

Fill each moment with colors, hopes, dreams, excitement, fun, joy, peace, love…. Fill them so that you’re happy… each moment.

The reason I named this article.. “You’ve lost it! ” is because…. Next time, when you are not happy or peaceful… think how many moments you’re losing…. Moments that could change your life…

One more small peace of advice.. Don’t be angry for too long.. whether its your fault or not.. it’s not worth it…! It’s just not worth it! Saying sorry never makes anyone small. Not saying sorry (when it is really not your fault) does not make anyone big. 🙂

Don’t let life say to you…. “Sorry dude.. you’ve lost it! ” 😉 🙂

Prayers…

Prayers have the power to heal the soul
Prayers give strength, prayers give control
They make you believe in a future that’s bright
They tell you that… everything’s gonna be alright
They are the …beginning and they are the… end
They can be a person’s…”best friend”
They are sung through the heart… that’s where you feel
They take no pride… they make you kneel
Every place is perfect …to say a prayer
Choose your own language, anytime, any where
There are no special…words designed
You can even say it…within your mind
Keep yourself calm …as you hear…
the words of your heart… through the prayer
Pray when you can… if not always…
Say “thankyou” or “sorry” as you phrase…
Use simple words which are easy to understand…
Prayers do the magic, just like God planned…
Some people use big words in a prayer…
Every prayer is special, every style is fair…
Pray to connect… with your inner voice…
God will give you blessings along with poise…
Dont pray if you dont want to…god won’t say a thing
But when “he really asks” you, you “will have” to sing! 🙂

Rush ….Traffic Jam!

A beautiful sunset waits for me…
& I am stuck in a traffic jam..
I drive, I think, I stop, I think…
“The sun is setting & here I am…!”

The rush on the road takes me away..
From nature, from freedom, from all that exists..
& I just watch the busy road…
As it turns, as it twists…

Each mile, each hour, seems like a day…
songs in the background seem like noise…
Where is the twittering of the birds?
Where is my calm, Where is my poise?

Rush is the game, that they play
Rush for what, rush for whom?
“Rush” is the word, that they say…
Rush or you are heading for doom!

Rush or you’ll be left behind.
Rush until something you find…
Don’t relax or look around…
Don’t fly, stay on the ground!

…….”Dream” is what I want to live
Somewhere I know, is my paradise
It’s where…”All that I do is right”
That place has no hues or cries!

I need to go & catch that dream..
Else, it will…just fade away
The dream should be “my reality”!
One day, some day or “Just today”!