Monthly Archives: February 2013

Guess the tone – Is ‘that’ how you do it?! :O ;) :) :{ :/

Positive Criticism.

Can criticism ever be positive? Can it ever lead to something good?

Do you avoid criticizing others?
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Can you take criticizing remarks made on you, in good spirits?

If you avoid criticizing others, or look over their mistakes, it may very well imply, that you expect others, to ignore your own mistakes and faults as well.

The reality is – Unfortunately, in this world, if people keep patting each other on the back without pushing each other to improve, they can not grow or do better.

“How to take criticism sportingly?” – This is one training, which probably every person should get during childhood itself.

It’s ok if some people do not like you or your work, it’s ok if they do not understand your efforts, it’s ok if they do not recognize you. You are what you are and you need to be happy about it. You need to be yourself!

If you do not like something, it’s ok to say it. Ofcourse, it is important to be polite towards others and show the minimal amount of courtesy in various situations. But, it is equally important to have an opinion – good or bad.

If something happens to you, try to categorize it as “towards your good” or “towards your bad”. It will help you judge people and situations better. It will also help you judge yourself better.

When someone says, “Hey, you didn’t do that right!”:

Step1. Understand that he is recognizing something bad in you or your work.
Step2. Accept that there is room for improvement.
Step3. Take a step back and do not take the comments personally. Disconnect ‘the comment’ from ‘the person’ who said it.
Step4. Analyze – can you improve the situation to avoid it in future?
Step5. If you can, then improve it, taking it as a lesson.
Step6. If you cannot improve it , take it as a lesson in understanding ‘the person’ who made the remark. Think, why that person is making such a remark and change your communication style to handle the situation.

There’s a lesson either ways. A lesson for you.
That’s what positive criticism is – a lesson for you to grow.

If you focus your energy on trying to change others, it may not be very productive. Change yourself.

Be like flowing water, that can fit into any vessel, any container ~~~~ of any shape. Hard or Soft. Symmetrical or Crooked. Water never loses its worth and internal properties.

There’s a famous proverb: The key to happiness is good health and bad memory. Forget the criticisms, but remember the lessons learned!

Criticism is good if it leads to constructive thoughts in your mind. If you welcome applause, you must welcome criticism with an open mind.
~ In all situations stay cool!

By the way, were you able to guess the tone in the title above? 🙂 

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God likes Comedy! :)

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Believe me, God likes Comedy! How can God not like comedy? He would just stress a lot, if he only handled the complaints and unending requests of other people!!

God likes to add a little bit of comedy, excitement, fun and mystery to our lives. That is why, when you take a route thinking that, there will be less traffic, you find more traffic instead.

When you prepare for an exam and are 100% sure of doing well in it, suddenly you hear there might be a retest, due to some funny reason.

When you are sure you will land a particular job, suddenly you get an interview call from a better company.

Isn’t all this funny? Destiny wants us to have fun and not take life so seriously.

So what – if things don’t go our way, it does not mean there is no other better way.

God wants to have fun with us, and teach us in the process. He is too smart to deal with! He is all-knowing and omnipresent. How can someone run away from him?

Life is full of comical people, stories, instances and co-incidences.

For a very long time, I took life very seriously. Everything I did, had to be as per the ‘rules’. Slowly, I started having fun. And now, in my work life and personal life, I try not to get attached to successes or failures. I just try to work hard each day.

I follow my passion. If someone laughs at me or hurts me, I feel God is laughing at me and there is definitely some lesson behind it. I can improve.

Life is a lot of fun, if you live one moment at a time. Imagine that all people around you are movie characters. Observe how their stories are unfolding.

Look at the expressions of people travelling on the metro. Smile. Smile – more often.

Thank God for everything. Relate with his comical side and be strong to bear everything. Life is not forever but it’s all worth it! Life is fun and God is a true friend who pulls your leg every now and then! 🙂

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Identify Your Dream…

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Dreams are very shy creatures. They do not like to come out in the open unless they can turn into a reality. They get shattered by under-confidence, disbelief, discouragement, competition or failure.

Every person has a special dream that wants to become his reality. Only some people are able to identify their special dreams.

Imagine someone who is very shy to come up and talk to you, but nudges you every once in a while! Dreams are like that.

They are like babies. They are very delicate creatures and need a lot of pampering. A dream will stay in your thoughts as long as there is even little chance of it becoming a reality and sometimes even when there is no chance left.

It will hint at you many times. It might bring opportunities along with itself also!

Dreams with opportunities are like marriage proposals. If you can marry your dream while that opportunity is available, you can live happily forever and ever!

Your dream will make you feel that you cannot find solace or happiness in other things. It will possess your mind when there is silence all around you. If you do not let it grow, It will hide itself and might re-appear later.

Your dream will not stress you out. It will only give you small nudges throughout your life. If you are able to understand its hints and work on the dream, it will do miracles for you. If you do not understand what the dream is trying to say, your dream may not knock at your door again, and may stay hidden “in a corner” in your heart all your life.

Try to befriend your dream and make it feel comfortable in this world. Appreciate yourself for having that dream and try to explain why it can or can not be a reality. Tell your dream that “It can be a reality – Big or small, it doesn’t matter” . Let it live. Work with it. Work towards it.

Don’t be so hard on yourself and your dream. Do not blame yourself for dreaming that dream.

Example – If you want to be a rock star at Age of 50, and keep telling yourself that your dream cannot be fulfilled, it will be hard on your heart. Just lock yourself in your room and pretend to be a rock-star in front of the mirror! Live your dream just for a moment atleast, while you are breathing and alive!

Or just dream another dream. Be soft and gentle with these “shy” creatures.

Once a dream becomes a reality, it will shout it self out from the rooftops! You won’t have to do anything then. It will thrive!

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Un-Reality

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Somewhere in my heart, there is a little girl, who doesn’t want to grow up
Who knows that growing up is not so much fun
Who knows that people can be cunning and selfish
She is more spiritual than real
She is more lost than present
She is more focused on the mind
And knows it sometimes hurts to be too kind
She is happy being alive but wonders if that is the only form of happiness?
She gets easily hurt and does not like to explain why.
She knows life is not permanent,
But no one can change that.
She gets amazed when she looks at other people
And also that they are not amazed to be alive
She does not understand material benefits a lot
Sometimes people think she is weird
But she thinks she is ok, just the way she is.
She wants to be what she is.
What is she?
She wants to be in sync with God
And she wants nothing more.
Is it too much to ask for?
It’s unreal.
Each moment she thinks, What is real and permanent anyway?
and for how long?

The World…

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All people in the world,no matter what country, faith or religion they belong to, have the same ways of expression. When they are happy- they smile, when they are sad – they cry, when they are nervous – they shiver and when they are complaining– they groan.

Every individual has the same feelings for his or her children. Most of them try to work hard, one way or the other to earn money and fulfill the needs of their family.

They may go through the same hardships, the same struggles and the same health issues in their lives.

If two people from different countries – who speak different languages, are left alone on a deserted island, ultimately- they will find some way to communicate, because having a company is always better than being all alone. They may become the best of friends or the worst of enemies but, there will be some communication and exchange of ideas.

In spite of so many similarities and so many dependencies amongst each other, people still fight, argue, and indulge in merciless killing and atrocious acts.

The people of the world need a way to deal with their emotions. The problem is not about communication or speaking a common language, it’s about having common thoughts. – It’s about understanding the ‘silent expressions and emotions’ peacefully.

In order to move constructively to the next level, the world needs peace. Every person has to be peaceful within his own self. There has to be a level of satisfaction with what he has, what he owns and what he earns.

Before having any expectations from anyone else or even from people of another country, they need to look at their own problems and deal with them.

This world is beautiful and it needs beautiful emotions. If a woman adopts a kid, not from her own origin, she will still be his mother. If a child is taught to beat other kids, he may even beat his own family members one day.

It’s all about values – Integrity, Peace, Love and Cooperation.

Everyone has to die and that moment has been decided by God. Why do people try to control God’s ways and want to become God themselves?

And for people who are Atheists, can hurting someone else make them stronger? Will they be able to compare their strength with every single person in the world in their limited lifetimes? Who are they trying to fight?

Today, with globalization and modernization, the world can gain a broader perspective about human emotions. This can help generate positivism and self worth among all human beings. Every person can contribute towards a better world, a better life. It is possible for 10 friends from 10 different countries to travel together on a vacation. It is possible for them to relate, talk, learn and grow. The world needs to be united. Not for one person or one country but for humanity.

It is the need of the hour.

Believing you are busy and actually being busy!

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Everyone’s so busy these days! They have something or the other on their list all the time. As a result, there is no time for family or friends or fun….or life.

Next time, when you say “I’m busy”, think:
“Are you really busy?”
“Are you pretending to be busy?”
“Are you having the belief that you are busy?”

 The third point is a little tricky. You believe you’re busy, when you feel you have so many things left to do! ‘So many’ could refer to 10 things or it could even be 100 things. The exact figure could very well also be a belief.

This belief adds to a lot of confusion and bad time management. Everything in life needs to have a priority and a deadline.

When I was unmarried, I was not really a ‘To do List’ type of person. But, after getting married and also being in a full time job, I really need a ‘To Do’ List. In fact, I just make too many lists!

I realized today that because of all those lists, I was under the belief that I’m extremely busy. No doubt, I am busy but it’s not unmanageable. It can be handled with some level of organization. What I really needed was a little bit of organization for those ‘To do’ Lists.

We live one day at a time. Days are split up into hours. Every task has a deadline – a certain day… a certain hour (formal or informal).

Deadlines are sometimes scary but if they are considered as milestones, they are not so scary.

Time management is difficult if we keep switching from one task to another. I remember reading an article about multitasking and how it gives the illusion that a lot of tasks are getting done, whereas, none of the tasks may actually be getting completed.

When we are able to do a task and check-mark it as completed, that’s when it holds some value. Per my analysis, if we are able to complete at least 3-5 tasks in a day, we are doing a good job. (Tasks- here, refer to those that require some level of analytical thinking)

It’s important to know the difference between a belief and a reality because beliefs drive our realities. If we believe the right thing, we can find time to do the right thing.

Next time when you believe you are busy, make a list of the things on your plate and when you’re supposed to submit them. Maybe then, you’ll be able to make time for other things or maybe then, you’ll actually have time for other things.

Comparison….

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What makes me better? What makes me the best?
Am I any different from all the rest?
Who takes this decision? Who can judge us all?
How big is he?…or is he too small?
Encourage me so I can do better tomorrow
Every other comparison, fills me with sorrow
Let me do, what, I can do best
Why are you competing, this is not a test
today we may be good, but tomorrow’s yet to come
differences don’t matter, what matters is the sum
Jump into the ocean, swim against the flow
But we will remain “droplets”, where ever we go…

Build new relationships, do not break existing ones!

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Man is a social animal. He has to interact with the fellow human beings during various stages of life.

It all starts with school friends, college people, then moves onto office colleagues, family friends, competitors and so on. How many times have you felt the pangs of jealousy in these relationships? How did you handle that? Have you ever felt less worthy or less compatible with the people around you?

An important yet unspoken fact is that: it’s important to get along with everyone in this world~ ‘Get along’ is the keyword here. It does not mean you have to be the best buddies or the worst enemies. You just have to be at peace with everyone. Probably, that is how this entire world was structured.

The state of ‘being at peace’ in all relationships can be achieved by talking through, keeping quiet or actively listening as per the various situations.

When you go to a new place, a new school for instance, there might already be some relationships existing among the people. When you make your space in that new zone, it is important to ensure you are not affecting any existing friendships negatively. This requires a lot of patience.

To make things clearer, you do not have to be ‘nice’ or ‘friendly’ with everyone. You do not have to put others before you, unless absolutely necessary. You just need to: ‘Understand’ that everyone is living his own life journey and you may never know what he may be going through.

Someone asked a question yesterday: “If you had to be a brick on the wall, where would you be?”

Some people said: “At the foundation”, some said “At the top”

There is no perfect answer, but here’s my opinion: Trying to fit in at the foundation might lead to breaking the whole wall and rebuilding it. Trying to get in the middle might shake some of the already existing pieces. Being at the top level or any other ‘available’ space, without moving any other pieces, will make the wall rise, become taller and stronger. (without shaking any of the already existing elements). ‘Trying to stay at the top all the time’ may require a lot of rework and shifting, when any new bricks are added.

So, here’s something for all of us to think about! ~Make your place in the existing wall and keep it strong. Make your own special space.

When you build new relationships, do not break the existing ones.