Monthly Archives: September 2013

People who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind….

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Every time I feel I’ve grown up and can now handle relationships better…. life presents some new lessons to learn and some new observations for me to take note of! (in an absolutely new way)

Long time ago I read that, “You can not be successful in life, unless you contribute to the society through your work”. Man is a social being. Even during the stone age, when trading started, you could only get some thing, if you exchanged it for some thing else in return.

Let’s consider a hawker or a vendor —– he tries to sell things to earn a living and to get some financial profit —- however, he is also indirectly benefiting others in the process – by fulfilling their needs.

Now consider a vendor who gets up in the morning, opens his store and starts giving out everything for free.
Everyday he wakes up and does the same thing……He will soon go bankrupt.
And even then…. there is no guarantee that people will come back and help him. After all it was his own decision to give out things for free…

The vendor has to care for himself and his family to avoid getting bankrupt. He has to open his store, sell things at a profit, occasionally give out deals for free and earn a living…… In the process, he benefits others as well.

So, you can not benefit yourself without benefiting others AND you can not benefit others without benefiting yourself. It’s a two way relationship.

Now the question is…. whom do you serve for free and whom do you serve for a price or a purpose? 

If you have only one shirt that you want to give away …..and you have two friends who need that shirt, whom would you choose?
U will have to choose one no matter what.

Does that make you less worthy in the eyes of the other friend? Does that mean the other person will no longer remain your friend?

And what if the friend to whom you gave the shirt, actually betrays you. Did giving him the shirt really make him stay….in spite of all you did for him? —- NO

People who want to stay – WILL stay….no matter whether you do something for them or not.

People who don’t want to stay – WILL not stay….no matter what so ever you do for them.

Count your friends…your blessings…the people who really care for u…in spite of the fact that you don’t do a whole lot for them. They are just by your side always.

These people wouldn’t mind the annoying things you do and would stick by your side. (Even if you do nothing for them)

People who mind… especially when you are unable to give them something in return….are probably with you for a purpose. And as soon as the purpose will be over, they will be gone…..forever.

People who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Are you really valuing the people who matter and who are with you unconditionally?

Personal, Professional, Social

There was a time when our personal lives were truly personal. We never declared to others whom we were meeting, what we were doing on an everyday basis, where we were going etc…. and then we had a professional life which was very formal and goal oriented…We were working to get money to fulfill the needs of the family….We also had a social life…where meeting others at social gatherings was not a necessity but a change from normal routine.

Today….

We do a lot of social meetings online or via social channels…
Our professional life seems to be incomplete without participating in social channels…
and our personal life is painted in various colors by others on social channels….(through likes, comments etc etc…)

Are we setting the right boundaries and limits for these three aspects of life?

Are we really in the need of getting constant affirmation from everyone about our interests and activities?

How do we cope up with the ever increasing demands of building a personal, professional and social brand?

Does it increase our productivity?

These are questions to ask ourselves…. No one should and can set these limits for us. We should define our life – and our personal boundaries…

How hard is it to spend a day without interacting on social media?

It’s not a bad thing to do…as long as your goals are not taking a back seat.

The world is very result-oriented. They look at ‘What has someone achieved?’ and not ‘How he achieved it?’… 

So, if someone can spend 20 hours on social media and still achieve milestones in life….he/she will be praised.

It’s for you to define the ‘time limits’, the ‘topics’ and the ‘friends and people’ in your life.

The day you can do that….you have overcome the pressures of social media and built your own very personal brand.~ That isolates?/identifies? you from the rest of the crowd.

Trust

Something beautiful I read….
“Trust is the core foundation of any relationship…. You can not make a building and mark the 3rd floor as trust. It is the core base, the root and basic foundation on which other floors are built. When you trust someone, you believe that they mean every word they say. You do not think that, “Oh, I’m sure he/she’s saying it but he/she means something else. You don’t need to judge someone to trust them. You have that ability from the first day you meet and it gets strengthened by trusting your own self.”

 

Unconditional Love

Heard these beautiful words today :

“Unconditional love is very easy ~ When we believe that, the other person is not responsible for our state of mind ~ When we take responsibility for our own emotions and feelings ~ when we trust completely, forgive naturally and accept willingly. A soul at its core is full of love. It does not have any negative emotions like jealousy, hatred or fear.’