Category Archives: Relationships

Giving ourselves fully…

Do you know what’s the most significant form of respect you can ever receive in life? …. When someone comes up to you for help… or just to share something…… This means they consider you capable enough to help them…
In some way… destiny has sent them to YOU for help….

Do you know how you can give yourself fully to them?…. By LISTENING to them with your FULL attention…. By LOOKING at them straight into their eyes during a conversation… By talking to them… until THEY want to talk to you…. By helping them… in the best possible way you can…

You are not just giving them your attention… but your VISION, your HEARING, your WORDS… You are giving them a part of your life…. Some precious time from your life…

You are giving them a part of YOURSELF…. which is yours….

When you learn to give in this way everyday… then you actually stop SEEKING….

You heart is not then ASKING for attention but just GIVING it away….

The more you give… the less you seek…. and the less you need in life…!

Wouldn’t it be a RICH feeling if the whole world was kept in front of you on a platter and you felt… “You don’t need anything… because you actually HAVE everything”….

When you look at someone straight into their eyes…. they feel acknowledged…. they feel valued…

When you talk to someone until they need to speak to you… you give them assurance that you are there for them…. you show patience… and acceptance…

Isn’t acceptance what many of us are looking for? Aren’t these social networking sites…. giving assurance, acceptance and appreciation in the form of likes….

Why do people feel so happy when they see their post being liked or re posted? Because… the real joy is felt with everyone… and not alone…

The real joy is felt is GIVING… not RECEIVING….

Try this experiment… Next time when someone comes up to you…. Look at them straight into the EYES… TALK to them…. “LISTEN” to them with COMPLETE attention and then try to DO what ever best you can for them….

You will notice that your mind and body will STOP seeking… STOP searching…. STOP waiting…. and just start GIVING…. TO EVERYONE….

And when you start GIVING like this each moment of your life… You won’t feel scared when you have to give your entire self away…. When it’s time to go… You will feel like giving yourselves…. just the way you have given your entire life!

You can’t give someone your EYES… but you can give them your attention…
You can’t give someone your EARS… but you can LISTEN to them with open minds..
You can’t give someone your BODY… but sometimes… a simple hug is all that people need…
You can’t give someone your ENTIRE SELF… but sometimes your presence is all that matters…

May Lord give us all the strength to share… to give…. ourselves fully… Whenever someone needs us…

Maybe Lord has chosen us in some insignificant but special way…. to make a small difference in people’s lives…. Let’s make that difference….

Rose

 

 

Invaluable blessings….

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Blessings come in many forms…. and some of the most important are the ones….that we forget to acknowledge…

Most of us… or let’s say many of us…. get a glass of water right in front of us… when we feel thirsty… Most of us… get food right in front of us… when we feel hungry…

Many of us have houses to live in… clothes to wear… people to talk to… friends to be with…

Most of us get to experience various seasons… We get to travel… if not far… then  atleast within the city we live in…

Many of us go through various emotions… Ups and downs…

Most of us have felt the rain…looked at stars in the night sky… glanced at the moon…

Most of us have watched TV shows… played outdoor games… Most of us have been able to communicate over the phone with our loved ones…

Many of us have received gifts in our lifetime… atleast a few times…

Many of us have been able to visit the doctor when needed…

Many of us have been able to go to school… Learn… Explore…

Many of us have some kind of faith that we hold on to…

Aren’t all these blessings….?!

If we remember to be thankful for every glass of water that is given to us when we feel thirsty… We will be able to acknowledge how lucky we are…. Because there are some people who don’t even get that…

If we learn to be grateful for every breath…every grain of food… every song we hear…every thing we see…. we’ll have much more to look forward to in life!!

If we realize how amazing the human body is and how lucky we are to have been born on this planet earth… we will enjoy every moment and Live it happily…

‘Coz in the end, it’s not the big things that matter but these little things…. that help us sustain life!!

My daughter who is 6 years old said an important thing the other day… She said… “Mommy… do u know what is the most important thing people want during Coronavirus while they are quarantined”…. I said… “What?” And she said .. “Grocery!” ….because she sees my husband and me ordering groceries every now and then…

Let’s try to be thankful for each course of meal that we get… each drop of water that we get…

And let’s truly believe that EVERYTHING else …. is just icing on the cake!!

Let’s work hard but be thankful for the little things too …coz they really are the big things!!!

There are countless blessings that we receive everyday…. We just need to acknowledge them… And be grateful!!

The best gift of life is life itself!! 🙏👍

 

The greatest bond

Every child has a bond with his/her parents… Some kids are attached to their mom more than their dad and some vice versa….

However, there is a much more important bond that leads every child in their life journey….. and that is the bond with God or with their belief system… the bond that guides them to take decisions in life… the bond that encourages them to move forward in life…

This bond or faith protects them and gives them hope for the future… It tells them to keep trying even after failing….

The ability to feel various feelings …. like love, jealousy, competition, ego, anger and so on… is an invaluable ability in human beings…

There are times when we feel lost and we don’t know what to do… in times like this…. we all turn to prayers…

Prayers give us the strength to carry on…

Every parent…. at some point of time… has to let go their children…. so that they carve their own path…. find their own identity and achieve bigger things in life…

In times like this, parents have to believe in the judgement power of the children and also their destiny….

They have to believe that a HIGHER POWER will lead them on the right path…. and guide them on their journey…

No matter how hard parents try to hold on to their children….. Children have to one day learn to fly…. and go to far fetched lands in search of their destinies…

Parents SHOULD believe that this HIGHER POWER will actually take care of their kids better than them… LIFE will teach them more invaluable lessons than parents can teach them…

LIFE will take them on better paths and destinations and show them this beautiful WORLD…

Every parent has to LET their children DEVELOP this strong bond with nature and with God…

Every parent has to learn to LET GO…. because that is the way to LIVE… and that is the way to LEARN…

LIFE is a great teacher and it teaches what we never imagined it would…

So, learn to bond with God and allow others to develop a faith too… in any form they like… as long as it is taking them on the RIGHT path…. which serves humanity… and every other living form on earth…

Bonding and letting go… both are equally important… to live a RICH Life…

We bond with our family, friends, colleagues and we also part with them… We have to let them go….  and in the process… WE GROW… THEY GROW… WE ARE ENRICHED and THEY ARE ENRICHED….and this enrichment makes us BETTER HUMAN BEINGS…

Let’s develop great bonds with people, with nature and with God and let these bonds thrive through the ups and downs of LIFE…!!

Let’s develop friendships that will etch beautiful memories in everyone’s hearts and teach all of us the true meaning of BEING ALIVE….!

Bond

Trust

Something beautiful I read….
“Trust is the core foundation of any relationship…. You can not make a building and mark the 3rd floor as trust. It is the core base, the root and basic foundation on which other floors are built. When you trust someone, you believe that they mean every word they say. You do not think that, “Oh, I’m sure he/she’s saying it but he/she means something else. You don’t need to judge someone to trust them. You have that ability from the first day you meet and it gets strengthened by trusting your own self.”

 

Build new relationships, do not break existing ones!

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Man is a social animal. He has to interact with the fellow human beings during various stages of life.

It all starts with school friends, college people, then moves onto office colleagues, family friends, competitors and so on. How many times have you felt the pangs of jealousy in these relationships? How did you handle that? Have you ever felt less worthy or less compatible with the people around you?

An important yet unspoken fact is that: it’s important to get along with everyone in this world~ ‘Get along’ is the keyword here. It does not mean you have to be the best buddies or the worst enemies. You just have to be at peace with everyone. Probably, that is how this entire world was structured.

The state of ‘being at peace’ in all relationships can be achieved by talking through, keeping quiet or actively listening as per the various situations.

When you go to a new place, a new school for instance, there might already be some relationships existing among the people. When you make your space in that new zone, it is important to ensure you are not affecting any existing friendships negatively. This requires a lot of patience.

To make things clearer, you do not have to be ‘nice’ or ‘friendly’ with everyone. You do not have to put others before you, unless absolutely necessary. You just need to: ‘Understand’ that everyone is living his own life journey and you may never know what he may be going through.

Someone asked a question yesterday: “If you had to be a brick on the wall, where would you be?”

Some people said: “At the foundation”, some said “At the top”

There is no perfect answer, but here’s my opinion: Trying to fit in at the foundation might lead to breaking the whole wall and rebuilding it. Trying to get in the middle might shake some of the already existing pieces. Being at the top level or any other ‘available’ space, without moving any other pieces, will make the wall rise, become taller and stronger. (without shaking any of the already existing elements). ‘Trying to stay at the top all the time’ may require a lot of rework and shifting, when any new bricks are added.

So, here’s something for all of us to think about! ~Make your place in the existing wall and keep it strong. Make your own special space.

When you build new relationships, do not break the existing ones.

Memories and Distance

Memories

Some people say ‘Memories get weaker and fade away as distance increases’. Sometimes the opposite in true, ‘Memories get stronger and come back to life as distance decreases’.

I found it easier to not miss my family when I was seven seas apart. I’m finding it difficult when I am two hours away! That’s life.

I think I am forgetting my previous post. I am here to create happy memories and share happy moments. That’s the goal.

Isn’t it strange that at times we feel, we can not live without some people and at other times, we feel ‘Oh sure we can’ and we keep switching, trying to keep ourselves strong.

Memories are a reflection of time – the journeys we undertook, the smiles and laughter, the emotions and tears. Memories are the only possession you have about your past, because the past is long gone!

Memories are in no way directly or inversely proportional to distance. They get stronger when you get weaker and they get weaker when you get stronger  – and by stronger I just mean practical, realistic and to some point unconcerned.

Distance makes you helpless and slowly our mind accepts the situation and we find happiness in our surroundings.

Physical distance can never distance you from your loved ones. That’s a bond that is formed during childhood and can never be shaken.

Bonds of the heart and stronger than bonds of the practical mind.

It’s true that people who are more practical, real and live for the present moment do not feel as much and maybe have long forgotten memories trapped somewhere in their mind. They are not better or worse than those who are emotional. It’s just a perception. It’s just what your heart and mind open up to!

Our heart has the power to reduce the distance between us and our memories.

Our mind on the other hand has the power to increase the distance between us and our memories.

Maybe that’s why balance of heart and mind is essential! Not sure if anyone can ever get perfect at this! 🙂 We live with the imbalance. 🙂

Blessings of Elders….! :)

ImageBlessings of elders hold a lot of meaning in my life.. they are probably most significant and valuable for me, as compared to all the other expensive things in life!

Fun in the family, teachings of grandparents, unconditional love of parents, cheerfulness of kids and so on…….I’ve not enjoyed anything else …more than these little things!

I’m living so far away from my family that I miss these even more! 🙂

When any elderly person gives me blessings, I feel I have a connection with god. It’s a different kind of feeling….

When I am able to bring a smile to my family member’s face,  I , in turn feel happy.

In today’s world, the concept of family is losing its value. We are forgetting the wisdom and the lessons shared by our previous generations. Maybe, we just don’t have time for them.

I never consider talking to an elderly person, a waste of my time. No matter what the conversation is about, I’ve always felt there is some hidden lesson for me.

It’s a blessing to have a loving family… It’s an honor to have people around you who love you and respect you…who are there to wipe your tears and hug you when you need it!

It’s a beautiful emotion…..

I don’t know, if anybody can ever see god……but if you can respect your elders the same way… there’s really nothing else left to do. I feel sad when I see old people sitting all by themselves, in an old age home or when there’s no one around them to ask , how they are? 

Respect the elderly people because you will get old too! Take out time for them, no matter what.

Each wrinkle on their face recites the story of a decade! Those lessons are more precious than diamonds. Those are the pearls I’d like to collect throughout my life!

How I said it… How you heard it! :)

When ever we say something, there is usually some emotion associated with it.
For example – our statements could be happy, sad, full of excitement, resentment or fear.
Our words could be mischievous, loving, harsh, rude, gentle, informative or blunt.
We could make a point directly or indirectly.

And at times, we may talk by remaining silent! 🙂

In order for our message to not get garbled or misunderstood, it is important for the other person to understand the emotion behind the dialogue also.

When we meet new people, we take time to understand their ways of talking, expressing, appreciating, denying or arguing. If we are able to build bridges and not walls, we become friends! However, if the message is interpreted in a wrong way, a lot of time and effort goes into correcting it.

The lower our ego levels are and the more accepting we are of any situation, the easier it is to understand other people.

Once, you understand what they are saying and why they are saying it – what is the motto behind the conversation – things become clearer.

Let’s take an example. There are two people who are very hardworking. They are working on the same project and want it to be successful. Every time they talk about a process improvement on the project, there can be agreement or discord. However, as long as the purpose is clear, they can reach a conclusion. They can brainstorm ideas and discuss the pros and cons.
Once the ego barrier is broken, the purpose is clear in the minds of all people and things move further.

Incomplete or Unending Conversations exist, when there is no conclusion and no radical decision can be reached ‘together’ by all counterparts.

There are hundreds of books written on communicating effectively. And, all of them have many things in common. If it’s important for a speaker to share his thought with the exact emotion, it is also the job of the listener to interpret it with the same exact emotion.

Communication is a two way street and if it’s purposeful, it can get a lot of work done magically!

There is a famous hindi quote by a very famous writer, Kabir: (English translation follows!)

ऐसी वाणी बोलिए, मन का आपा खोय |
औरन को शीतल करे, आपहु शीतल होय ||
Speak in words so sweet, that fill the heart with joy
Like a cool breeze in summer, for others and self to enjoy.
 
You may now think, “How I said it and how you heard it!” 🙂 .. Have fun! 😉

Hey….How are you?

It’s a well known fact that man is a social animal. Everyone wants to have friends and people who care for him/her. We all like to party, chat and spend some good time with friends. Where does this need come from?

Are we not capable enough to live all by ourselves?

We can never live as solitary entities as we are dependent on each other for our needs. That’s what societies are for!

It’s not just important to be surrounded by people, it’s also important to be surrounded by those who value your individuality. It’s important to meet people who give you good vibes and spread positive energy around you. It’s great if you can count on at least three people in life who value ‘you’.

Do you ever analyze what you feel when you meet different sets of people? Do you feel energized after they leave or do you feel tired? Do you feel the party was too long or too short? Did the time spent give you some encouragement or did it bring down your morale?

Think. We can not choose our family but we can choose our friends. In every moment that you spend with some one else, you give away a part of your life that you can never get back. You share precious moments of your life.

A lot of people who live alone or in solitude get into depression. Many diseases are caused when some one secludes himself from the rest of the world.  I read that loneliness may lead to heart diseases also.

How much importance do you give to networking and interaction? Are you hesitant to introduce yourself to strangers? If so, why? What can they possibly take away from you? If you are cautious enough, you can judge people and have light heart conversations with people you meet in elevators, on the road, in training and seminars, in voluntary sessions and so on!

When someone appreciates us, we always feel good! How often do you appreciate others? I read that if an employee appreciates his/her co workers, it displays his professional courtesy and spreads good vibes!

Go out and explore the world….analyze the vibes that you get…Do not seclude yourself. Learn from every interaction, choose your interactions and continue learning!

Start with a small step…. “Hey, how are you?”

Roles…..

I’ve read that “people play roles in our lives”. At one time, I used to strongly believe in this. Probably when I was in school or college, I believed that people played roles in my life. Somehow, I don’t believe in it now.

I feel, “we” choose who we want to have in our life and we ourselves decide the role they are going to play.

We sometimes don’t let people play the role they want to play. At other times, we even meet people who don’t essentially play any roles in our lives.

As life moves on, we are required to transition to the practical side of life. (Bills, Grocery, work , family needs, money) It becomes necessary to deal with these things. No matter how hard you try to run away from them. We lose touch with friends. Everyone moves on, doing their own chores.

How does the role play fit in our life then? Are these temporary roles? People who used to very important at one point of time, may not be so important today. How do we measure the importance of a role? Is it the number of times we talk to them, call them, miss them? Is it the effect they have on our lives? Or is it the fact that there presence is crucial to our life (At a certain point in time)

“Roles”….this word held a lot of meaning for me at one point. Today, it doesn’t.

Today, I identify with only one role. The role that I have played in my life. The paths that I have taken at various points in life. The role that I would like to play in my life in future.

I believe in God and Destiny. I don’t know if god writes our “roles” or gives us the choice to write our role ourselves. I don’t know if he checks like a movie director, “Would he/she be comfortable with the role I am giving him/her?”

Sometimes, we don’t even know what impact our role will have on other people’s lives. Its not transparent. Its hidden. The only thing we can be sure of knowing is: What role did I play in my life and how it impacted me?

Experiment with roles….give yourself the role of an artist, a teacher, a musician, a lover, a singer, a sports person, a partner, a parent, a child, a philosopher….. See which role you fit in best…and then PLAY THAT ROLE! Since you play that best, it will have maximum impact on your life and other people’s lives. That’s all you can and should identify with.

You don’t have to play every role perfectly. But try to play at least one role perfectly. All roles that you play may be small roles but they ultimately do add to the bigger picture.

Don’t worry about who/what else is impacted by your role. As long as you know you are playing the best role you can! That makes your life worth it!… That role WILL surely make you happy.